btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So here I am, sexting at work.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
