drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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