Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
