mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
