In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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