Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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