non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
