just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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