Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
