seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
