dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize