It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
