Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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