That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
