you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love you.
Bad choice
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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