That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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