just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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