he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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