I look better un-naked...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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