trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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