nutella sex= disaster
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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