I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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