I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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