i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Operation Purity has been aborted
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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