I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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