You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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