i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
