Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize