Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
