I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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