are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
