Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
