no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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