Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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