names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Randomize