i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
