I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
