I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
God, I missed his penis.
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