he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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