So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
