I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
