just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
