a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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