do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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