it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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