Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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