Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
