Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
