YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
