My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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