Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize