Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
how drunk are you?
Several
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
