As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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