got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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