So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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