so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
