I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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