oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
