There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
