the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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