Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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