Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
if only i could text you this smell
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
