I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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