I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
