I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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