dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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