So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
