It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
